Over the last week, I’ve been drawing like crazy. It’s become addictive! I’ve been doing lots of experimenting and exploring. In many ways, the pieces reflect my own personal struggles. The piece above is really about being kind. Kind to myself and others. Probably one of my biggest life values.
The next piece reflects what it feels like to me to be indecisive, like a girl caught behind a barbed wire fence. I struggle with indecision and with often making the wrong decision, in retrospect. I guess another way to to look at my poor decision making is that it’s provided a learning opportunity of some sort. Usually a painful learning experience, but nevertheless, an opportunity to learn and grow. One of the things that I’ve been most indecisive about is my career. I still don’t feel like I’ve found the right one, or if there even is a right one, despite thousands of dollars in student loans I’ve accumulated for a master’s degree. So sad, but true. The things I most love – art, music, writing – do not make for promising or stable careers. I admire those individuals who are able to make a living using their creative talents.
The last piece I think reflects joy because art makes me so happy. I’m planning to buy better art supplies soon so that I can improve shading and adding texture, but for now am happy that I have any supplies at all. So much to explore…Happy drawing!
we’re looking for angels in the darkest of skies
I was at the gym this morning on the elliptical and flipped on the TV monitor to see a CNN broadcast of the latest on the the 12 boys and their soccer coach trapped in a flooded cave in Thailand. The boys all looked so very young and skinny, yet despite their harrowing circumstances, some of the boys smiled and made peace signs. How very brave they are, or are at least trying to be. My heart went out to them and to their coach, who have all been trapped for two weeks. As a mom, I would be beyond worry and panic if my child were trapped for days in a cave. I just can’t even imagine. This in addition to the migrant children who are being separated from their families at the border truly calls for prayer and angels.
As I listened to Spotify via my iPhone while reading the subtitles on the monitor, Chvrches song, “Miracle,” began playing. The lyrics, “We’re looking for angels in the darkest of skies,” resonated as I continued watching the news. I drew this angel as a prayer to the boys and their coach still trapped and to the children who have been separated from their families at the border, hoping and praying that all are reunited with their loved ones soon. It was encouraging to learn that four of the boys in the cave were rescued tonight, but nine still remain trapped as well as the coach. May angels guide the Thai Navy Seals and all of the rescuers during this mission to get all out to safety soon.
I think that dreams are important because they lead to possibility, and who knows where possibility can take us
I have always been a bit of a dreamer. When I was a young girl, I dreamt of acting and singing. In high school, I dreamt of of traveling to Europe. In college, I did have the opportunity to travel abroad. I visited London, England, as well as China, Japan, Thailand, India, New Zealand and Australia. It was such a great experience.
As I’ve gotten older, the dreams I once had have diminished as work, paying off student loans, and other responsibilities became a priority. I have to say that I envy those individuals who are able to make their dreams and passion their livelihood – athletes, artists, actors, writers, etc. Lately, it’s been quite dreamy to take up drawing again. For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been exploring different media and trying to find my personal style. It’s been exhilarating. I think that dreams are important because they lead to possibility, and who knows where possibility can take us. So keep on dreaming!
art gives flight to my truth
One of the things that I love about art is its ability to tell stories. There is so much to explore and express as one who is only beginning to lean into her artistic roots. Art leads me to a sacred space and gives flight to my truth. That is truly a gift.
what came to me in this piece was determination, courage, setting your own course and standing your ground
I love Saturday mornings, especially when no one else is up yet and the house is quiet. I actually got to enjoy a full cup of hot tea. Typically, I’m rushing around in the mornings, trying to get out the door for work, and I only get a couple of sips before my tea goes completely cold. I opened the windows and let in some fresh air and spent some time looking at the work of artists I admire – Toni Burt, Tamara LaPorte, Jane Davenport, Kelly Rae Roberts, etc. Their work seems flawless, and I began feeling like I have so much to learn! I’ve been experimenting with acrylics and watercolor lately and am not great at using either, but it’s been fun and interesting exploring how to blend, mix, and add texture. I worked on the piece above for a couple of days after work until the wee hours of the morning – not quite happy with it, but I continue to remind myself that this is about enjoying the process and creating for the sake of creating! I find art incredibly therapeutic, but often approach it like work. I have to get it right and get it done quickly, efficiently. The completely wrong mindset, right? In any case, what came to me in this piece was determination, courage, setting your own course and standing your ground. I generally hate conflict – I want everyone to live and breathe harmony, which unfortunately, is not possible in this world, especially when you work with prideful, inflexible, rigid people.
At work this week, I was faced with a difficult situation that made me feel, for lack of better words, completely yuck. Dealing with difficult clients is not my forte and is such a drain! I knew that I was putting my best foot forward and was determined not to let what was clearly the other party’s issues become an attack on my person and heart. It wasn’t easy, and it will continue to be a tenuous situation, but I believe that I’ll handle it with grace and authenticity, even if the other is blind to it. Well, that’s enough of that. I look forward to making art over the weekend and recharging. There is so much more to life than letting arrogance bring you down. May you have a lovely weekend doing what you enjoy!
if I could tell my younger self anything, I’d say be who you are
It’s taken me half my life to feel comfortable in my own skin. If I could tell my younger self anything, I’d say, “be who you are.” I drew and painted this piece in celebration of living your own truth, finding your most authentic self, and doing what makes you happy.
i’m grateful for this period of creativity in my life
I had never heard of ‘soul care’ until this morning as I was listening in to the Possibilitarian podcast hosted by artist, Kelly Rae Roberts, and Nichole Poinski. A light went off in my head as I contemplated why I feel so tired much of the time. Giving of yourself constantly is draining. I realized that I’m deficient in soul care. I think soul care is making a habit of practicing self-kindnesses, taking time to connect with your heart, and engaging in what feeds your soul and uplifts you. It’s finding ways to refuel and energize emotionally, physically, spiritually, and psychologically. I’m convinced that I’ll never have balance in my life – it’s just not possible. I have a job that’s extremely demanding, and at the end of the day, my light is barely flickering. I’m always just hovering over burnout. During this season of my life, I may not be able to change that, but I can counteract the fatigue by changing little things. I’ve decided that at bedtime, I’m going to identify five things that I did well during the day instead of checking my work emails or thinking through my to-do list for the next day. Maybe I responded with grace to a negative conversation with someone instead of reacted out of defensiveness. Maybe I took a 15 minute walk during my lunch break, which I rarely take away from my desk. I can try harder to practice gratitude instead of looking at all the things that are weighing me down. Tonight, I”m grateful for this period of creativity in my life. I don’t know how long it’ll last, but I’m grateful for the spark. I finished this little piece tonight. It’s interesting to see how something turns out, as it never ends up the way I expect, and I have to silence the self-critic. But I remind myself that art is a process, and l’m growing. And, the inspiration that comes with it is gratifying.